Elementary Goal Setting
There are plenty of activities for elementary goal setting that can inspire children and teens to work toward their dreams and goals. The key is keeping the goal setting activities fun. Here are some easy and practical ideas below.
The Dream Book!
The most classic elementary goal setting exercise is the dream book, which is really nothing more than a scrap book that serves to capture their goals. Help your child to find inspiring pictures that symbolize their goals, dreams and wishes, and then cut them out and place them in the scrap book. Other great sources include old holiday catalogues, newspapers and even old picture books that they no longer read. You could also find images online from Google or a place such as www.dreamstime.com which might have pictures that symbolize your child’s goals.
The Dream Board!
Just as you’ve heard about vision boards for adults, you can also use it for elementary goal setting as well. To help your child create their dream board, purchase a bulletin board, and then have your child cut out pictures that symbolize what they want to do, be and have in their life. A lot of people might prefer the dream board over the dream book, because then your child will constantly be reminded of their dreams and goals. The problem with scrapbooks is that they are often tucked away into a drawer that sometimes doesn’t get opened in a very long time.
The Dream Planner
Another option for brainstorming and planning out goals is the use of a whiteboard or chalkboard! Try using dry erase markers that are easily wiped off. This method of using the white board and chalk board is best for children in the higher grades as they are further along in their cognitive development and might choose to write their goals in sentences as well as write out their own to-do lists. It’s a great way for them to get in the habit of planning actions for the dreams and goals.
The Dream Card
Have your child or student pick out an appealing greeting card from your local store. Inside that card, they can write out all their goals, or again, the actions steps for a particular goal. They can display this card on their night table, desk, or even post it on their bulletin board. Whenever you have a spare minute, read through your goals and action steps.
Goals Present Tense
Why write your goals in the present tense? There are a few key benefits and reasons why people write their goals in the present tense.
1. First, the statement becomes more believable, because you are adding in the pronoun “I”. This creates a sense of personal ownership each time you read your goal aloud and it starts to feel more and more real, and believable to you. The more you believe in your goal, the more action steps you’ll take to turn your goal into reality.
2. A second reason for writing our goals in the present tense is because our brain doesn’t recognize the differences in tenses of past, present and future. It responds best and immediately to messages of the present, right now. For instance, if you state, “I will raise a happy, healthy and cohesive family that loves each other”, compare that to saying, “I am in the process of raising a happy, healthy and cohesive family that loves each other.” Which statement feels better and more active? The “I am in the process” is a great technique that Michael Losier teaches in his Law of Attraction seminars.
3. A third reason or benefit of writing goals in the present tense is that when you read these goals you end up with an image or visual picture of your goal. The subconscious brain works best and is motivated very well by pictures. This is why we are constantly being told to create a vision board. Be sure to read my tips on how you can easily visualize your goals. I believe that using pictures of your goals is even more important than writing down your goals. However, you can experiment for yourself to see what works best for you.
In Addition to Writing Your Goals Down in Present Tense…
There are other rules on how to write down your goals, and there are other teachings such as the SMART acronym that you can follow, however, it is important that you realize that the how behind achieving goals is not heavily rooted on how you write your goals down. There are much more important things to keep in mind.
For instance – ask successful people what they attribute their goal to – is it because they wrote every single one of their goals down in the present tense? No. Ask someone why they failed to achieve one of their life goals. Do you think it could be traced back to failure of how they wrote down their goal? Highly unlikely, as there are many more important things that a person needs to focus on in order to achieve their life goals.
So what are some of these important items you ask? For starters, do you have goals that empower you and excite you so much that you’ll get up at 6am to work on them? Knowing who you are and which goals are best aligned with you is one of the most important things to consider in achieving your goals. Big goals are rarely accomplished based on discipline, but rather they are accomplished out of a person’s passion to get started.
If you haven’t completed the goal-setting program online, give a shot right now! Click below to get started on the step(s) in which you need the most assistance!
How to Overcome the Post-Achievement Blues
Have you ever achieved a really important life goal, and then shortly after felt a little bit down or as though you had ‘the post-achievement blues’?
There is a good chance that the pursuit of your last goal was giving you a lot of satisfaction at the time. Often we believe that we will feel on top of our worlds after our goal is achieved, but truly, we enjoy ourselves the most during the journey!
Now that your previous goal setting and achievement journey has completed itself, you might be left with a feeling of nothingness, emptiness or as I sometimes call it – the post-achievement blues. Hopefully you haven’t fallen prey to the dangers of goal setting, which in part can contribute to the post-achievement blues.
Make your new goal to find a few good ways to enjoy yourself in the present, which means now! This can be your new challenge – the new thing that you can achieve.
Here are seven simple solutions to dealing with your post-achievement blues and to finding a way to help yourself enjoy the present now.
- Get yourself around family and friends – During the achievement of your last big goal, there is a good chance that you weren’t able to spend a lot of time with your family and friends. There is no better time to reconnect with them then now. They will remind you of what’s most important in life, and just being around family that you are close with will help you overcome those post-achievement blues. Friends and family always bring you back down to earth and have a way of grounding you in a positive way.
- Take a vacation. Try escaping for a change of scenery. Go away for a day, weekend or even an entire week to refresh your mindset and to give yourself a different focus. This will force you to not think about your previous goals or future goals, but will help you to enjoy the present and to de-stress. Also, finding sources of renewal such as this is key to ensuring you come back to your future work with more energy, clarity and creativity.
- Lose yourself in a fun activity. Choose a fun activity to engage in that has traditionally brought you a lot of joy and satisfaction. Even if you don’t feel like you’re in the mood, once you begin the activity you might feel different.
- Set goals for the other areas of your life that you might have neglected. For some individuals, it’s possible that their post-achievement blues has to do with the fact that they’ve invested all their energy into just one goal or area of their life. If this is you, now is the time to start thinking about setting goals in other important areas of your life such as your relationships, health, leisure and so forth. Try the goal setting program here to get started.
- Engage in one of life’s simple pleasures. What are the simple things that you enjoy in life but haven’t done in awhile? When was the last time you enjoyed an ice cream cone on a beach or walked a dog? When was the last time you sat on your porch with a coffee? How about going for a walk with no destination in mind, or listening to your favourite music at home?
- Find something very small to accomplish such as cleaning out a room in your home, or organizing your office. Part of the post-achievement blues has to do with the fact that achieving things is gratifying. When you accomplish something you experience a release of dopamine, the feel-good chemical. Once you complete a big accomplishment and suddenly have nothing to achieve or accomplish it can be a let down because you aren’t releasing dopamine in the same amount or in the same pattern as you had been previously.
- Last but not least, talk to a professional counsellor if your post-achievement blues persist for too long a period of time or if you just don’t feel like yourself.
Personal Goal Setting – How to Succeed
To be successful at personal goal setting requires that you know who you are and what you want. Do you have a personal vision or mission statement? Have you ever brainstormed your goals to know what is really important to you?
The most successful women ensure that they find a way to capture and keep track of all their big goals. Their personal goal setting is often driven by their passion for journalling, and simply choosing to invest in themselves, period!
Personal goal setting involves more than knowing how to instantly motivate yourself. Instant motivation might work short-term, but you also need to know how to change your limiting beliefs and behaviours for success to be possible in the long term.
Women who succeed in their personal goal setting have learned to harness the power of many other great tools such as visualization techniques, the law of attraction and effective time management, including how to beat procrastination
To truly go far with your personal goal setting, it’s imperative that you give yourself your own personal goal setting performance review, so that you know what you’ve improved and what needs more work!
Last but not least, successful women achieve their goals by learning how to increase their confidence, which helps them stay persistent over the long run. In addition, they are aware of how they will overcome the barriers that they inevitably run into.
So, do you have what it takes to succeed with your personal goal setting efforts? If you are just getting started, then be sure to start the personal goal setting and motivation program now
Create Time to do what you Value
Do you create time to do what you value? Do you find yourself waking up most mornings and not looking forward to your day? Do you wakeup and ask yourself, Why do I have to do this today? If you have answered yes to this question, you are like many other people. We live in a world that is full of things we feel we should be doing. Or even worse, we feel that we have no choice and that we have to be doing these things.
We have the power to choose what we want our lives to be filled with. It is critical to remind yourself that all things you are spending your time on are decisions that you chose. No one truly forces you into your unique situation. Whether your decisions occur consciously or as an automatic response to your previous habits, you are still responsible for making your decisions. You are responsible for the rules and beliefs held in your own brain. That is not to say that other people don’t influence your decisions and thoughts, because I will admit that people do influence others’ decisions. What is helpful to remember is that you are ultimately the only one who is in control of your decisions, and you are the one that lives with the consequences of your decisions. Not others.
In my experience, I have always found it helpful to leave open a small portion of time in my schedule to do the things that are important to me. There is nothing worse than waking up in the morning and thinking of all of the things you have to attend to, but sometimes aren’t interested in doing. I love Eddie Cantor’s saying:
What’s the use of running when we are on the wrong road? There’s a big difference between being busy and being fulfilled. Eddie Cantor makes my point clear – Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.
The point here is that when you are always busy and tied up to your regular scheduled routines, you have no time to step back, reflect and evaluate what’s actually going on in your life. Sometimes people get so caught up in their regular routines that they miss out on, or forget about the potentially meaningful opportunities in life, and fail to recognize their other talents, desires or callings. When we create a little bit of extra time for ourselves, we honour a space in which we can make more conscious and effective life choices, which consequently empower us and give our lives more vitality.
Decide today that you will not over commit yourself to a schedule that is jammed packed with “shoulds” or activities that you feel pressured to participate in. I think that over-commiting ourselves can be one of our biggest stressor. Decide today that you will not be in such a rush to get to your destination.
There’s a famous quote that says, Life is a journey, not a destination. Slow down and learn how to enjoy life along the way! Realize that you will always be trying to achieve something, finishing a project, putting out a fire, or attempting to make a life transition. Life will always present circumstances to keep you busy, distracted or occupied with important things. Do not be in the habit of putting your passions off until ‘tomorrow’. Ultimately, tomorrow is today!
Perhaps you are already busy with meaningful endeavours, but you never take a break. Be careful to not get stuck in the vicious cycle of achieving one destination and then immediately running for the next. Take time to learn how to enjoy your achievements. Do you work or run a business so that you can ‘get by’ and live, or, do you live to enjoy the process of the beautiful moments of your work? If you are a workaholic now and want to slow down your pace of life, it is possible. It’s not easy, but it is possible. The best way to get started is to take baby steps. You have to understand that overworking and over-committing is a learned habit. We must learn to question why we do the things we do. Are we doing them out of guilt, pressure or prestige? Are we doing it not because we like it, but because we just want the credential for it? Or do we like what we’re doing but we are spending too much time on it?
How do you know if you’ve over-commited to something? The answer is simple. You always find yourself wishing you were somewhere else instead of where you actually are. You wonder why you joined what you joined. You wonder why you are doing it all. Perhaps you did not leave yourself enough time to make a good decision, and instead immediately jumped into something spontaneously.
Be very careful in your decision to commit to something. that will take up a considerable portion of your time. When you are thinking of taking on more work, joining a club, organization or are planning to register for a course, think your decision over carefully in the beginning. Examine your reasoning behind your decision. Is this really what you want to do? Is this activity going to bring you closer to your goals? Will this make you happy? Who’s idea was it for you to engage in this anyways? Was it your own or someone elses idea? A lot of time people make commitments because they think they ought to. They are constantly concerned with peoples’ judgments around them. A person takes on a new project at work thinking about how it will boost her resume, which will land her a higher-paying position within her company. Just thinking about carrying out the tasks makes her feel sluggish and de-energized. One must ask one’s self what alternative, creative options are available that would be a more efficient means of achieving his or her end goal.
Don’t engage or participate in things simply because you think you should. Your passion will never be unleashed because your energy or vibrational level will be too low. Instead, engage yourself into activities that inspire you and would hold you enthusiastic! Many times we find ourselves committing to things for other people’s sakes, and not our own. We do things to make other people happy and forget our own needs and wants.
What will happen if we don’t regularly incorporate this special time into our schedules, whether it be time to pursue our passions and desires, time to reflect and explore new opportunities, time to relax, or just plain and simple quiet time? The answer to that question is that we might develop a sense of unworthiness. When we do not schedule time for ourselves we are unconsciously telling ourselves that we are not worth it. We are not worthy enough to do what we want to do. This will result in low self-esteem and lead us into the cycle of not believing in ourselves. When we don’t believe in ourselves we end up following the mainstream footsteps of society and engage in a way of life that is already designed for us.
There is a saying, Design your life before the circumstances of life design it for you. Let this idea be something you ponder when you make decisions with how you want to spend your time.
Reflective Questions – Create Time to do what you Value:
1. How can I give myself permission to create the time and space needed for self-reflection and/or the pursuit of meaningful endeavours?
2. What do I always wish I could give myself time for?
3. What do I admire about how other people spend their time, and how could I incorporate something similar into my own lifestyle?
4. When I consider the possibilities for how I might use my extra time, which uses of time will I immediately look back on and regret? Which uses of time will I look back on and not regret, but be proud of for giving myself permission to use my time in that way?
5. What limiting beliefs or rules stand in my way of giving myself permission to spend more time doing what I value?
6. If my morals stand in my way, how can I be moral and still give myself the time that I need?
7. Am I worried about what others might think regarding how I want to spend my time? If so, how can I overcome other peoples’ judgments regarding the way(s) that I desire to use my time?
8. What excuses, reasons or justifications do I use to prevent myself from having time to focus on what is important to me? Although these reasons are all ‘valid’, you must realize that they still prevent you from being able to spend your time in your own personal way.
9. In what ways do I conform to social norms when it comes to how I spend my time? Which of these are truly necessary?
10. How will I raise my standards when it comes to freeing up more time?
11. What things do I want to enjoy and have time for in my life, but am avoiding taking responsibility for?
12. In terms of how I spend my time, which habits in my life have I absolutely got to get rid of?
13. Which patterns of my time use drain my energy?
14. What is out of balance with respect to how I spend my time?
15. Which decisions have I been putting off regarding how I am spending my time?
16. How does thinking in ‘black or white’ or ‘all or nothing’ prevent me from taking time out for myself?
17. How do I want to design my life?
18. What could I do or focus on during this extra time that would give me momentum and a forward moving feeling in life?
19. What things or activities am I currently pursuing or participating in that I don’t feel good about?
20. Are there any particular people whom I constantly give my time away to, or spend too much time with when I don’t want to?
21. How can I raise my standards or expectations about how I use my time?
22. If I can give myself this needed time, how will this produce a positive domino-effect on the other areas of my life?
23. Who will I be a great role model to, if I start using my time in this purposeful way?
24. Who will admire me for what I accomplish or do with this time?
25. How might valuing my time in this particular way change my life forever, in a positive way?
Limiting Beliefs
How do the following limiting beliefs prevent you from achieving your goal? The following are known as Cognitive Distortions from Dr. David Burns. These are some of the common ways in which we limit ourselves.
Identify one of your goals or areas of life that you are struggling with currently. What is holding you back from achieving the results you want? Now, take that answer, and see if it is in fact a type of limiting belief or cognitive distortion below.
1. All-or-nothing thinking
- Black and white thinking
- Operating from extreme opposite ends of the pole
2. (a) Magnification
- blowing something out of proportion
- focusing too much on a negative aspect
- narrow perspective
2. (b) Minimization
- brush something off as “no big deal”
- give something too little focus
- think that a task can be “put off” to a future time
3. (a) Labelling
- Assigning a negative label, term or name to yourself based on something you did or did not do. It is a way of overgeneralizing some event or occurrence.
(b) Mislabelling
- Mislabelling: Using a highly charged label to describe yourself; and the label does not even describe objective description.
4. Should Statements
- What you tell yourself that you “ought” to do
- Trying to follow someone else’s values, ideals or hopes for you
5. Personalization
- Taking responsibility for something that has nothing to do with you
- Assigning fault to yourself for something that is not your responsibility
6. Jumping to Conclusions: interpreting something negatively without rational evidence.
(a) Mind reading: You think you can read another person’s mind, and you believe that this person’s reaction to you is both personal and negative.
(b) Fortune Telling: You have a feeling of certainty that things will turn out negatively. You treat this feeling as a fact even though it has not even happened.
7. Mental Filter
- Filter your thoughts and focus to only see the negative in something.
8. Disqualifying the Positive
- Ignore and deny anything positive about the situation or yourself.
9. Emotional Reasoning
- You let your feelings determine what your reality is. If you feel bad about something, than the situation must be bad.
10. Overgeneralization
- Taking the meaning you subscribed to one scenario and applying this meaning to all similar scenarios or even different scenarios.
Goal Setting Lessons from America’s Got Talent
How bad do you want your goal? Are you willing to take a risk with your talents like the gymnast from the Sandou Trio Russion Bar? Watching her last performance gave me chills all over my body – doing flips over nails and fire and her ability to stay composed were absolutely amazing! Now just to clarify I’m not saying anyone should risk their life to achieve their goals, but the point is, what risks are you willing to take in order to achieve your goals? Clearly, her performance had her outside of her comfort zone!
Also, can you take the heat? Achieving big goals means being fearless of others’ opinions. Think about the Squonk Opera group and the feedback they received from Pier. Do you think one man’s opinion shook them up? You have to develop rock solid confidence in order to pursue your big goals. If you don’t believe in yourself than who else will?
Thirdly, you’ve got to develop the skills behind your goals even if you’re already great. Don’t get too comfortable. Do you think the other great performers such as Anna Graceman, Snap Boogie and Dezmond Meeks rested on their natural gifts without constantly trying to improve them? I guarantee you they spend as many hours a day as possible perfecting their act. The same is true for us – why not spend as much time as possible honing our own life performance with respect to our big goals and talents?
Finally, and most obviously, you’ve got to have talent and passion combined! If you’re trying to decide which big goals to pursue, choose ones in which you have a gift already. The more skill there is behind your chosen goal the better. Also, choose to focus on those activities and goals that make you want to get up at five in the morning with passion! Without passion even the most skilled people don’t get that far. Passion is what ignites the spark, and keeps the your momentum going.
So, after watching America’s Got Talent tonight, ask yourself if you’re taking the appropriate risks, successfully withstanding others’ judgments, developing your skills continuously and pursuing those goals in which you have talent and passion behind them.
How to Increase Your Confidence
How to Increase Your Confidence
What is confidence and why is it important to women and their goal setting efforts? Confidence is the act of believing in yourself and knowing or trusting that you can accomplish whatever goals you set for yourself. Your confidence can increase or decrease depending on situations and various contexts that you find yourself in.
How to increase your confidence isn’t always an easy problem to solve. However, it is always a worthwhile pursuit to set a goal to increase your confidence, because it will compound your success with the rest of your goals. When you believe in yourself you are more likely to do whatever it takes to approach your goals with confidence. However, confidence takes work as well. Here are some of the best tips on how to increase your confidence – tips based on actual research!
1. Write down all your accomplishments in each area of your life – career, relationships, money, health and so on. Taking time to recognize your accomplishments will provide validation that you are an effective, productive, intelligent person capable of producing the results that you set out to achieve.
2. Celebrate any accomplishment that has personal meaning to you. For instance, let’s say that you’ve just bought your dream home. While you might be tired from all the time invested into the project and a bit short on money, it’s worth celebrating to reward yourself for your efforts. What if I don’t need rewards? Many people think celebrating is silly. By celebrating your success, you are owning your accomplishments and taking time to recognize and integrate those successes into your life. You are also giving yourself that pat on the back, and when you celebrate by doing something that is fun or enjoyable, you are providing a source of positive reinforcement for you brain, programming it to want to achieve even more.
3. Keep a warm and fuzzy file. This means keeping a list of all the great complements that other people have given to you. This could be accolades from coworkers or bosses, or it could simply validating comments that others have said to you and comments that simply make you feel good about who you are. When we like who we are (high self-esteem), this positive stance about ourselves is also likely to increase our confidence in ourselves and the goals that we set out to execute. Read this list when you are questioning your abilities, and I promise that almost every time it will bring you up a few notches in terms of your self-confidence.
4. Create a list of all your strengths and skills. The point in doing this is to make sure that you are maximizing your use of these strengths, and ensuring that you use these strengths as much as possible in your career and personal life. The more you rely on your strengths (activities or pursuits that you’re passionate about and good at) in your goal setting pursuits, career and personal life, the better the results you will experience, and the more quickly you will become successful. Also, people who tap into their strengths receive more positive feedback from others and promotions at work, which leads to increased confidence. When women pursue goals that are aligned with their strengths, they are more confident about what they are doing, they achieve better results and they enjoy the process. This means they are also more likely to invest more time into their goal setting pursuits. Increased confidence in one’s goal, along with hard work and great skills leads to excellent goal setting results!
5. Get in the habit of helping others. Once you know your passions and skills, why not utilize them to help others who don’t have that strength? What are your personal giveaways that you can get in the habit of offering others? Each time you lend a helping hand you increase your confidence because you are strengthening your skills even more. Also, the more people you help, the more positive feedback you receive on your performance and this in turn will boost your confidence. Another great benefit of helping others is that you will experience “helper’s high”, which means your brain will release endorphins that will make you feel good. When you’re feeling good about yourself and your life, you are that much more likely to work on your goals.
6. Conduct a Personal Performance Review regularly. Every quarter of the year, I suggest reviewing each area of your life for success and learning lessons with respect to your performance on your goals. This increases confidence in two ways. First, you can see your growth, and this boosts our confidence. Second, you can learn from your mistakes, and you can see all the efforts that you have put forth, which also increases confidence knowing that we are doing whatever it takes to turn our goals into a reality. You can read more about the personal performance review here.
7. Determine which of your personal qualities you and others like the most. What are the most important or valuable qualities about you? For instance, how do others describe you in a positive way? Do they think of you as witty, friendly or funny? By becoming aware of your key personal qualities you can’t help but feel good about yourself and confident at the same time. Try creating a list of your top 5 positive qualities. Post this list somewhere that you can read it every day.
8. Give yourself permission to feel like a million bucks! How on earth does this increase a person’s confidence? It’s very simple – when you allow yourself to partake in activities that you enjoy – you feel happy and positive, and this mindset will increase your confidence as you are pursuing your life goals. Don’t turn your goal setting efforts into a drudgerous chore. By taking time to enjoy the journey along the way, and to do things that make you feel good, you’ll keep yourself resilient during your goal setting efforts. For instance, for me – sometimes shopping can make me feel like a million bucks. Other times it’s allowing myself to splurge on a nice dinner with family and friends. Some days, it’s allowing myself to sit outside with a coffee to reflect on life. Think of this activity as something that will recharge your confidence batteries when you’re running on low.
9. Give yourself an image makeover. Studies have indicated that when women feel good about their personal appearance, they are more likely to have self-efficacy or self-confidence while pursuing their goals. It makes sense, because when we feel good about how we look and present ourselves to the world, we are more energized and motivated within. Try an experiment with it to see for yourself. Try going to work one day not feeling so good about your outfit or hair, and then try going to work another day making yourself look your absolute best. Notice a difference in your energy and confidence with respect to your productivity goals? If your image effects your self-confidence, be sure to read my article on how to overcome a negative self-image.
10. Take action, even if you don’t feel confident. Try the old ‘fake it until you make’ theory. Even if you’re not confident that you can do something, pretend that you are. Talk with confidence and act with confidence. See if this in turn increases your confidence. Also, each time that you take action with your goals, you become one step closer to achieving your goal. Taking baby steps will increase your confidence because you know that you are doing your best to move yourself forward. If motivation is an issue, be sure to read my blog on how to instantly motivate yourself.
11. Last but not least, be sure to constantly set goals. Set daily, weekly, monthly, yearly and long term goals. Create a checklist each evening for what you want to accomplish the next day. It works every time! When you know what you are striving toward, you have meaning and purpose which ultimately increases your confidence with each action step that you take toward those goals. Also, if you haven’t already, be sure to complete my goal setting and motivation program to get you started!
12. Be sure that you’re not doing things that subtract from making your goal setting a success. You can read about the dangers of goal setting here. Sometimes, we take our goal setting too far, and this can bring our self-confidence down and drain us of our goal setting excitement.
In sum, these are eleven ways that you can try to increase your confidence today. Experiment with them, and see what works for you. We’re also interested in your comments for what has worked for you personally.
Types of Negative Motivation Women Use
There are many different types of negative motivation. Negative motivation defined means, motivating one’s self by using the power of negative thinking. It involves focusing on something from a pessimistic viewpoint, with the intention of motivating a person to move away from their current situation or state. It is a powerful type of motivation when used in moderation.
When negative motivation is the only source of motivation that a woman draws on to get herself into action, then she can damage her self-esteem, confidence and pride.
Types of Negative Motivation:
1. Look at your current situation, lifestyle or problem, and ask yourself why you’re trying to move away from it. Whatever your goal is, ask yourself what’s wrong and bad if you don’t achieve this goal. This has also been termed as the “pain” exercise that Anthony Robbins popularized in the 90’s. Some women finally get motivated to achieve their goals, when they are fed up with something in their lives.
Along this notion, you might ask yourself some of the following negative motivation questions from my goal setting and motivation program.
Asking yourself these types of negative questions can be useful at the outset of embarking upon a new goal or project. It is a quick way to get motivated in the short term, but it is not the type of motivation that keeps women going in the long run.
2. Another type of negative motivation is extrinsic motivation, which can be defined as a type of motivation that is found external to one’s self. For example, some students are motivated to obtain good marks based on impressing a teacher or a parent. This type of motivation is short lived and doesn’t add much value to a person over the long run, but it is an excellent form of motivation in the beginning.
Think of shows such as The Biggest Loser or other contests that happen within your community. It’ a great way to get moving on something in the beginning. However, as time passes, people will need more compelling and meaningful sources of motivation.
Another example of extrinsic motivation for a woman would be choosing to have a family simply because society teaches women and men that that is what is expected of them. Other examples of extrinsic motivation could be doing something for the money. Taking a job in an environment that you don’t like, but doing it simply because the pay is excellent is another example of extrinsic motivation.
Extrinsic motivation comes in many forms:
- “Shoulds”
- Other peoples’ expectations
- Doing something for the money
- Trying to impress someone else
- Any other reward offered by someone else
- Comparing yourself to someone else and their achievements
- Doing something out of embarrassment, shame or fear
When have you used negative motivation to get you into action with something? For how long did it work? Did you eventually need to find more meaningful sources of motivation? Be aware of the fine line between negative motivation that helps, and negative motivation that has gone sour and is bringing you down. You may also be interested in reading my article on the Dangers of Goal Setting for Women
Goal Setting Examples
Goal Setting Examples – What 95% of People Don’t Do!
I am going to show you a few goal setting examples and then I will highlight one of the most important elements of goal setting that so many people neglect!
Do you know where 95% of most people trip when setting their goals? What do most unsuccessful people forget to do when they set their goals? They forget to write down their goals!
Not only do they forget to write down their goals, but they forget to chunk or break down their goals into a ‘doable’ action plan. Here is an example to get you started!
A Goal Setting Example
I am in the process of waking up with unstoppable energy every morning at 6am, and moving my body with passion for 1 hour a day, 5 days per week! (Deadline: May 1st)
Now it’s your turn to write down your goal! Choose the goal that you’ll focus on for the rest of our goal setting steps together!
Write Down Your Top Goal Now
If some of the points in my example don’t make complete sense to you, or you don’t agree with them, that is fine!
Here’s my motto – if it turns you on, keep it – if it turns you off –chuck it!
Here’s an important note to make however. Do you know why so many people never achieve their goals? What is it that 95% of people are forgetting to do?
Most people never achieve their deadline, because they fail to schedule a time line of the necessary action steps needed! Follow these goal setting examples closely.
You see, goal setting is so much more than just writing down a goal. People forget this. They write down goals thinking that they will magically start attracting success into their lives.
Wishful thinking won’t get you far. What makes a person’s wishes and dreams a reality, is being able to take action! Having said that, here are the steps to creating a time line:
1. Write a list of all the tasks or mini-steps that need to be taken to achieve your goal. What you are doing is breaking your goal down into manageable chunks.
2. Review each of these steps and decide upon the most effective order in which to complete these steps.
3. Write a deadline or date beside each step and commit yourself to completing that action by that date.
Important Tip!
Do you know what the whole point of doing this exercise is for? Do you really get it?
The point or purpose of scheduling, time lines, and deadlines is for 1 reason only – and that is to get you to take consistent action!
So, having said that, if there are some parts or steps you don’t like, leave them out – just make sure your strategy is getting you into action!
Timeline for Goal Setting Example
Step 1. Brainstorm and break the goal down into mini tasks.
Using my goal setting example above, make a list of every single task you will need to complete in order to achieve your goal. Don’t worry about the order of it just yet! Write down any necessary steps that comes to your mind!
Step 2. Now, go back to your list, and rank or organize your tasks in the order of how you would like to complete the tasks. Simply put your numbers along the left hand side of the margin.
Ok, did you complete step 2 above? If you didn’t, then why are you reading this? Go back and do it now!
Step 3. Re-write your list in sequential order based on how you ranked your steps. Next, write down a deadline beside each step, for when you would like to complete the action by. Go for it!
And there you have your execution plan!
Now, here’s the funny thing about these sorts of timelines, deadlines and action plans…
You will almost never follow your scheduled timeline or action plan the way you originally envisioned it to be.
Why is this you ask? Well, each time you take an action, you learn new things, and receive feedback on the course of your path. You gain new insights along the way to achieving your goals, and therefore you discover new action plans!
So, you will always be adjusting your timelines and action plans. They are never meant to be set in stone, but rather to act as guidelines that keep you clear on where you are heading next.
After having read through my goal setting examples, are you going to choose to be like the masses, – the 95% of people who will never reach their goals, or, are you going to choose something different for yourself, such as success?
Hmmm…it’s a touch decision. Very few people can be different than the rest. Will you?
Also, very few people ever take their goal setting steps further than where we have just left off. That is a very bad mistake! All of the goal steps we have covered so far, are the easiest parts of the whole process (except the action plan of course!).
Aside from this action plan, all of my goal setting examples and principles I’ve shown you so far, are what most people do without a problem. Are you ready to discover the next steps that will literally transform your level of motivation?