To be successful at personal goal setting requires that you know who you are and what you want. Do you have a personal vision or mission statement? Have you ever brainstormed your goals to know what is really important to you?
The most successful women ensure that they find a way to capture and keep track of all their big goals. Their personal goal setting is often driven by their passion for journalling, and simply choosing to invest in themselves, period!
Personal goal setting involves more than knowing how to instantly motivate yourself. Instant motivation might work short-term, but you also need to know how to change your limiting beliefs and behaviours for success to be possible in the long term.
Women who succeed in their personal goal setting have learned to harness the power of many other great tools such as visualization techniques, the law of attraction and effective time management, including how to beat procrastination
To truly go far with your personal goal setting, it’s imperative that you give yourself your own personal goal setting performance review, so that you know what you’ve improved and what needs more work!
Last but not least, successful women achieve their goals by learning how to increase their confidence, which helps them stay persistent over the long run. In addition, they are aware of how they will overcome the barriers that they inevitably run into.
So, do you have what it takes to succeed with your personal goal setting efforts? If you are just getting started, then be sure to start the personal goal setting and motivation program now
How do the following limiting beliefs prevent you from achieving your goal? The following are known as Cognitive Distortions from Dr. David Burns. These are some of the common ways in which we limit ourselves.
Identify one of your goals or areas of life that you are struggling with currently. What is holding you back from achieving the results you want? Now, take that answer, and see if it is in fact a type of limiting belief or cognitive distortion below.
1. All-or-nothing thinking
- Black and white thinking
- Operating from extreme opposite ends of the pole
2. (a) Magnification
- blowing something out of proportion
- focusing too much on a negative aspect
- narrow perspective
2. (b) Minimization
- brush something off as “no big deal”
- give something too little focus
- think that a task can be “put off” to a future time
3. (a) Labelling
- Assigning a negative label, term or name to yourself based on something you did or did not do. It is a way of overgeneralizing some event or occurrence.
- Mislabelling: Using a highly charged label to describe yourself; and the label does not even describe objective description.
4. Should Statements
- What you tell yourself that you “ought” to do
- Trying to follow someone else’s values, ideals or hopes for you
- Taking responsibility for something that has nothing to do with you
- Assigning fault to yourself for something that is not your responsibility
6. Jumping to Conclusions: interpreting something negatively without rational evidence.
(a) Mind reading: You think you can read another person’s mind, and you believe that this person’s reaction to you is both personal and negative.
(b) Fortune Telling: You have a feeling of certainty that things will turn out negatively. You treat this feeling as a fact even though it has not even happened.
7. Mental Filter
- Filter your thoughts and focus to only see the negative in something.
8. Disqualifying the Positive
- Ignore and deny anything positive about the situation or yourself.
9. Emotional Reasoning
- You let your feelings determine what your reality is. If you feel bad about something, than the situation must be bad.
- Taking the meaning you subscribed to one scenario and applying this meaning to all similar scenarios or even different scenarios.
How do we change our limiting beliefs?
1. Examine the state of your life right now. Where do you feel blocked with respect to your goals? What is stagnant? What isn’t working for you? Which results and goals are you having the most difficulty achieving? Here is one example, “My goal is to go on a warm tropical vacation, but I can’t seem to allow myself to do it.
2. In order to change our limiting beliefs, we must define our problem and what the block is in one or two sentences. Be as specific as possible. For example, “I can’t go on a tropical vacation every year because I simply don’t feel that I have the money in my budget!”
3. Write down how this limiting belief or problematic way of thinking is helping you in your life. How does it support and protect you? To continue the above example, “This belief protects me from spending money foolishly, and it prevents me from going broke” Examine this statement further though. Is going on one vacation really foolish spending? Is it really going to make you broke? Your goal is to question your limiting belief, its validity, and how supportive it really is.
4. Next, how is this limiting belief preventing you from achieving your goal? How is this limiting belief actually holding you back? In order to change our limiting beliefs, we must notice that while our form of thinking is an attempt to protect ourselves, it is also a form of thinking that is blocking us from achieving our goals. Here’s an example: “By holding onto the belief that spending money on a vacation is foolish, I’m excusing myself from being able to have what I want. Despite the reality that it might break my budget a bit, thinking this way blocks me from taking any action or examining any potential solutions that could help me achieve my goal.”
5. To change our limiting beliefs we must brainstorm solutions to overcoming our limiting ways of thinking. Learn to ask yourself more empowering questions. “How can I find a way to go on my vacation without breaking my budget?” Then, create a list of ways that you might do this. For example:
- Stop buying daily coffees and cut back on groceries by $20 every week for 6 months, to save enough money for my vacation. Put the remaining bill on my line of credit, and create a budget to pay it back with.
- Shop around for deals for vacations. Maybe they don’t cost as much as I thought they would.
- Can I go for a 4 day vacation instead of a full week? What difference will this make?
- Can I borrow money from a relative?
- Can I pick up a few extra shifts at work to make up for the difference of what money I need?
- What other creative ways could I temporarily earn more money to cover the cost of this trip?
When you learn to ask yourself good questions about how you can actually reach your goal, you’ll start to see the possibilities for how you can break out of your limiting belief. By simply repeating your limiting belief through self-talk, it doesn’t help you get past your reality that you are on a tight budget.
Just because something is your reality, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have a limiting belief. Limiting beliefs are what create the realities that we are trying to escape from. Thus, we must monitor our beliefs closely in those areas of our lives in which we are experiencing results that are less than satisfactory.
Also, ask yourself why you want your goal? For example, “Why do I want this vacation so badly?” When you can create a strong enough “why” behind your goal, you will be more motivated to identify and change your limiting belief systems.
What are some of your habits that need to be changed in order to support this new way of thinking? Be sure to focus on changing habits to support your goal as well.
Finally, if you’re unsure of whether or not your belief is limiting you, ask yourself how well your belief supports your life vision?
These are just a few ideas of how we can recognize and change our limiting beliefs. I would suggest going back to the basics if you haven’t already, and completing the goal setting and motivation program which helps you align what you want with the right beliefs and behaviours.
How do we overcome a negative self-image? Every woman seems to have her own limiting beliefs regarding her self-image. Here are seven ways to overcome your limiting beliefs with respect to your image.
How to Overcome a Negative Self-Image – Body Shape Myth
1. Don’t believe that you need to be perfect, thin, at your ideal weight or have a certain type of body shape in order to have a great self-image. In order to overcome a negative self image you must realize that all shapes and sizes of women can look beautiful. I have worked with clients of all shapes and sizes, and I have noticed that some of the best looking and well put together women don’t have ideal body shapes or weight. Why is this? Simply put, they have worked on their own self-image and have invested the time into how to make themselves look their personal best.
Try an experiment to overcome a negative self-image. The next time you’re in a mall, or a public place, take note of women’s images, and notice what you find. You will quickly realize that many well put together women are not ideal stereotypes in terms of their height, shape, appearance and so forth. So, don’t believe in this myth that you need to have a certain type of figure in order to have a great self-image. A great self-image is built upon personal choices, actions and habits of how we put ourselves together each day. A great image is not built on genetics or body shape – that is a limiting belief in and of itself.
How to Overcome a Negative Self-Image – Age Myth
2. Realize that age has very little to do with having a positive self image. Don’t use this as an excuse. Once again, do an experiment and identify older women who have a positive self-image. What do they look like, how do they appear, and what do they say? It’s black and white thinking to believe that just because you are older you can’t have a great image. Remember, building a great image is a choice. As a more mature woman, you can still choose to create a wardrobe that is fashionable and that projects a positive image. If you believe you are too old to feel good about yourself, then that will become your reality.
How to Overcome a Negative Self-Image – Sexy is Good Myth
3. In order to overcome a negative self-image, it is important that you stop sexualizing yourself or seeing yourself as an object in which you are supposed to look a certain way. If you are wearing super tight clothes, showing too much cleavage up top or down below, then you’re probably drawing too much sexual attention to yourself, which can make you feel inferior and insecure as you are seeking approval and attention from the opposite sex. You’ll be less likely to be taken seriously in the business world. If what you’re wearing to work is something you’d wear out on a date, then don’t wear it. If you feel insecure about others looking at you or wondering if others might think your outfit is inappropriate, then don’t wear it.
How to Overcome a Negative Self-Image – Trendy Myth
4. It is a limiting belief to think that you need to be trendy in order to have a great self-image. There is a difference between being fashionable or stylish versus trendy. You can choose to put together a nice wardrobe and accessories based on your own unique preferences, colours and what looks good on your body. In order to overcome a negative self-image, you must follow your own rules, because you’ll be more self-confident. Also, ask yourself, what does trendy mean to you? This is all about choosing accessories that you like – not choosing something just because of a fad.
How to Overcome a Negative Self-Image – I Must Be Rich Myth
5. Money. A person does not need to have a lot of money in order to overcome a negative self-image. While some women will boast about the brand name clothes they buy, or the expensive hair salons that they go to, it is not mandatory to spend a lot of money on producing a great image. I have worked with clients in the past who have put together spectacular outfits largely from second hand stores. Identify just one or two very important pieces of clothing you need, and be sure it is high quality. Set your budget and stick to it. Be creative. Begin improving your self-image by analyzing your closet to see what nice outfits you already have. Take pictures of those outfits so that you remember all the great ‘looks’ that you have. Hang up the outfit on one hanger along with your matching jewellery sets and scarves as well. You might be surprised at what you already have in your closet without having to go out and spend more money.
How to Overcome a Negative Self-Image – Superficiality Myth
6. Many women have a limiting belief that paying attention to their image is too superficial. While image might not be a spiritual pursuit, investing time into your image has many benefits including increased self-confidence, self-esteem, and, according to many studies women (and men) are perceived as more valuable in the workplace when they have a great image. Whether or not it is superficial, your image can have a positive or negative impact on how others view you and treat you. Just remember, paying attention to your image is not superficial if you create a self-image that is unique to your own desires. Often times, people criticize looks they don’t agree with. So, ask yourself what image you would like to create for yourself? If you like it and it makes you self-confident, then it need not be thought of as a superficial pursuit.
There you have it – six reasons on how to overcome a negative self-image. Be sure to check out part of my goal setting program on how to identify and overcome limiting beliefs.
When was the last time you examined your belief systems and whether or not they’re helping or hindering your success in life?
Here is a great video by Bob Proctor that demonstrates the important role that belief systems play in your life success. Click here -> Bob Proctor talks about our Belief Systems
There are many different ways to think about your belief systems. Review the following ways of thinking to determine which of these ways of thinking are holding you back with respect to your life goals. Write your limiting beliefs on paper so you can replace them with new beliefs.
- pessimistic thoughts
- mental script
- social norms
- mental thought cycles/patterns
- mental pictures
- perfectionistic thoughts
- catchy phrases
- negative associations
- negative memories
- personal intentions
- mental scenery
- similes, idioms, or puns
- limiting or lack of knowledge
- messages received
- family beliefs
- media messages
- mental “blueprint”
- conditioned thoughts
- attempting to prove…
- past failures
- any other ways of thinking or cognitions