Women’s Missing Links to SMART Goal Setting
In working with many women over the years, I’ve learned that women’s ways of knowing, and their approach to achieving their life dreams, differs from what is taught in the SMART acronym. When setting goals, we are taught that they are supposed to be very Specific, Measurable, Action-oriented with a detailed plan, Realistic and Time-bound (must have a deadline).
The problem with the Smart formula is that its assumptions and philosophies are heavily rooted in pure ‘scientific’, left-brain thinking, pure logic, and reason. It’s the whole “I’ll believe it when I see it” perspective, as opposed to “I’ll see it when I believe it.” The problem with these instructions is that they alone, are limiting in nature.
Smart goal setting has many valuable benefits that should not be ignored, and I wouldn’t advocate that you through the baby out with the bath water. However, Smart goal setting seems to only speak to only one of two important sides of the “success” equation.
I believe that the Smart formula has turned many women off from the idea of “goal-setting”. It has become such a mechanistic, boring chore to set goals using only the Smart formula. When I think about the Smart formula on its own, there are certain negative connotations and overlooked concerns that immediately come to mind.
Let’s start with the first guideline of setting a Specific goal. Being specific with your goals is very important, however “specific” on it’s own, leaves out an important former step, which is the need for exploration, brainstorming, curiosity, and something else called, “thinking big”! This is how the process of goal setting should begin, but this part is rarely ever suggested, it is only assumed.
The first time you actually get serious and start thinking about what you want in your life, you will come up with many different ideas, and this is exactly what you want. The term “Specific” on its own, is limiting in nature. How does one have absolute clarity and detail on a goal that is in its infancy?
The truth is, the clarity of your goals evolve and develop over time. So, don’t worry that the goals and the visions behind them in the different areas of your life are a bit fuzzy. This is completely normal when you are first setting a goal.
What about being told to make sure that your goals are measurable? This only takes into consideration measuring the final outcome. What if the ‘outcome’ is a result that will take many months or years to attain? How will you measure your progress in-between? I believe that we need to measure and reward ourselves for the many steps, actions and efforts along the way.
There also seems to be some goals that just aren’t measurable by quantifiable standards. For instance, what if a person’s goal is to maintain a positive outlook on life? What if a person’s goal is to experience more gratitude on a daily basis? Not everyone wants to ‘translate’ or break those goals into something quantifiable. Not everyone wants to take a ‘logical’ approach to every single goal.
On the flip side, of course there are many short-term, straightforward goals that are easy to measure such as the size of your waist, your bank account, or perhaps the number of unique visitors that arrive to your website each month. These types of goals are easy and fun to measure, because they are quite concrete. Not all goals are so straightforward though.
Third, we are taught to make sure our goals are Action-oriented. Of course this is important, – it’s a no brainer. Interestingly, taking action is not most people’s weakness. It’s relatively easy to take action. Consider the common New Year’s resolution to lose weight. People get into action right away, but they often have problems staying in action.
The downside to promoting the ‘massive action’ side of the equation is that it leaves out an equally important task – which is that of planning. Many people in life know what to do to achieve their goals. The problem they often have is sticking to their goals and following through with their goals.
In order to make this a success, a person needs to work on identifying their limiting beliefs, thoughts and behaviours, and supplementing them. This requires work, and compared to taking action, it is relatively boring for most people as it is ‘behind the scenes’ work, and not something that you can easily measure and track.
One of the worst things about the Smart formula is the notion that our goals should be Realistic. When you are first setting your goals, that last thing I’d recommend is to be realistic. This assumption again is rooted in thinking out of practicality and logic. What about thinking big?
The first step is to decide on what you want in the different areas of your life, and only later does a person figure out the ‘how’. The ‘how’ is your plan, and that is the component that will be rooted practicality. Don’t ever let your current lack of awareness or knowledge ever prevent you from attempting to achieve a dream of your choice.
I once read that being realistic with setting your goals is actually being pessimistic. So, think big, and don’t consider realistic plans in the beginning. That part of your plan and strategy is what comes later.
Last but not least, watch out for the Time-bound notion of the DEADline! My goodness, what feelings and thoughts come to mind when you hear the term ‘deadline’? The term seems to imply, – achieve your goal by a certain date or else! Automatically, many people report feeling a lot of negative pressure and stress.
It almost feels like a competition to ‘beat the clock’ so to speak. There is a feeling of needing to rush and possibly sacrifice quality to meet the deadline. There is also the fear of failure. If you don’t achieve your goal by the deadline, you might feel like a failure. This can create feelings of low self-worth and unnecessary frustration and stress.
Deadlines of course are important, and they will have a necessary time and place with many of your goals. When the tasks are quite menial and straightforward, it might make sense to set a date for their completion. The pursuit of many other life goals however, aren’t so straightforward.
The achievement of big goals and dreams are rather complex. Rather than focusing on achieving an end-result or arriving at an exclusive destination, women find that their dreams unfold one step at a time. Our achievements evolve, and it is a journey-oriented process.
The key isn’t so much to focus on the quantity of time it takes to achieve our goals, but rather it’s about the commitment to our goals. It’s about staying focused and knowing the direction we are headed in. We can’t always control timelines due to the expected, yet unexpected variables that always come into play along during our journey.
Deadlines assume that one already has all their resources in place, and that one already knows the exact instructions on how to arrive at the goal. It also assumes a person will have no obstacles or barriers to overcome, which in turn, takes time to circumnavigate.
The problem is that achieving big dreams can’t be done by following a cookie-cutter approach. There is no precise instruction manual with a person’s name carved into it. A person’s unique circumstances and life context always comes into play, and there are never any detours.
Rather than thinking in terms of deadlines, it makes better sense to think about moving or ‘evolving’ targets. The achievement of our goals is a dynamic process that is constantly in flux. Changes in our environment, available resources, and the unique factor of ‘trail and error’ all ensure unexpected zig zags in our path, and hence our overall timeline.
As a person works toward achieving their goals, they are constantly customizing their plans and overall approach. As time goes on, we constantly evaluate our goals, their importance, relevance and meaning to us.
Another assumption inherent in deadlines is that a person will always be consistent in their motivation to plan, take action, and adjust their approach as needed. This is rarely the case because what gets a person from Point A to Point B is always different than what is required to move a person from Point B to Point C. New plans, and new perspectives for staying motivated are always required.
Furthermore, deadlines assume that a person knows how to stay motivated all the time. I’ve learned that learning personal motivation techniques is perhaps even more difficult than taking action, because motivation is what gets a person to take action, and to take consistently.
Achieving our goals is not a single event, but rather it is an evolving process.
Our achievements evolve, one step at a time, one day at a time, one insight at a time, and this occurs over and over again. The journey is forever evolving, which is another point left out in Smart goal setting. For example, a deadline implies that the journey ends once the destination is arrived at. However the journey continues as a person maintains, improves or builds upon that big dream.
Being “smart” about achieving your dreams isn’t only logical – it also requires being present to your own unique life context, and rather than relying exclusively on someone else’s cookie cutter formula, you might want to take a few of the main principle ingredients that you prefer, and then create your own personalized recipe for success.
Others’ expertise and advice combined with your own self-knowledge and inevitable trial and error might prove to be the most fruitful.
It is not just about staying fully committed to a set of predetermined and specific goals with date tags attached to them, – it also requires being open and receptive to the many new opportunities, perspectives, and learning lessons that develop as each day passes. We are in constant flux and change, and therefore our goals reflect this as well.
Goal setting is about living with passion, and staying focused on your multiple, evolving dreams. The Smart approach to setting goals is one of two important sides of the equation. Use your imagination, intuition and personal wisdom to adopt an approach that works for you. In the end, there is no one exact acronym, formula or secret that can get you there. What works for someone else might not work for you.
Try my goal setting and motivation program today.
This will allow you to not only set your own goals, but it will provide you with personalized motivation – and that is what you need for the long haul.
Cheers,
Allison